Put the Lime in the Coconut, Verbena

Most of you will be familiar with Harry Nilsson's song, "Put the Lime in the Coconut", a song that has long perplexed historians. This week I found a new clue thanks to Body & Bath Works, but I'm not sure it didn't obfuscate things even more. BB&W has a soap named "Lime Coconut Verbena". Clearly this is a cleverly coded reference to Harry's Enigma, as serious historians are wont to call the song.

But who or what is Verbena? Several possibilities come to mind.

• Verbena is the girl Harry^[1] wrote the song about. Harry is simply telling a story of something he saw in the islands while living there for tax purposes.
• Verbena is a former lover who drove Harry to drugs. The lyrics make a lot more sense if seen as a product of hallucinogens.
• BB&W has discovered that- as Elton John had Bernie Taupin- Nilsson had a collaborator named Verbena. This begs the question why Harry never wore big glasses^[3], clearly the secret of Elton's success. It also prompts us to wonder at Verbena's first name. My guess is Coconut, certainly a name one might wish to eliminate. Or perhaps her entire name is Lime Coconut Verbena.
• Verbena^[4] is the missing ingredient in a drink many made in hopes it would induce the same sort of hallucinogenic ecstasy that clearly brought about the lyrics of this song.

Some of you may feel I have played fast and loose with what is and isn't known about this song and its creator, but I promise I have used the same rigorous fact checking techniques Congress uses when passing laws and budgets. Assuming you can remember back when Congress actually passed budgets.

Come to think of it, if Verbena was a subtle reference to Congress rather than a woman, suggestion 2 above seems even more likely.

 

NOTES
1 Nilsson, not Potter.^[2]
2 There are no known recordings of Harry Potter singing this song.
3 Clearly Nilsson, as Potter had big glasses.
4 The flower, not the well known woman mentioned above.

Interview with Tony Stark

Special interview by Anonymous

The billboards on I35 led me exactly where I wanted to go:

STARK WAREHOUSE SALE

I hadn't even realized Stark Industries had a presence in Austin, but there it was. With more security than the President of the United States and Jennifer Lawrence combined.

The building was chock full of slightly outdated Stark tech: older arc reactors (palladium is so passe, regardless of the output); Jericho missile prototypes; souped up exotic cars and planes needing repairs; propulsion systems; miniature rocket launchers; body armor; the list goes on.

I had, of course, gone incognito. Like half the people there I was in an Iron Man costume, with large quantities of laundered cash on my person. One doesn't really like to attract SHIELD's attention.

Imagine my surprise when I tapped a salesman on the shoulder to ask a question, only to find myself face to face with the man himself, Tony Stark!

"Mr. Stark! It's you!. I mean, I didn't expect to find you here..."

"I didn't, either."

"I don't mean to gush, but I'm probably your biggest fan."

"Nope. Not even close. I am. Now, what can I do for you?"

"But why are you here?"

"We get all sorts of people in here. Half of them are dumber than a Hammer. I want to make sure people know exactly what they're buying. Pepper says it plays hell with stock prices when someone lights up their new "arc reactor" but it turns out to be a personal neutron bomb killing everyone in a three block radius. Or, conversely, they light off a Jericho prototype to stave off invasion by hundreds of feral hogs, but it's a chemical agent dispenser full of pig pheromones.

"Not only do those sorts of things cost us millions, but I end up testifying before Congress, and if there's one thing I hate more than people taking my stuff, it's wasting time before that pompous, self-inflated windbag who heads the Crucify Tony Stark Committee.

"Now, were you going to buy something?"

At this point the discussion got technical. I don't think I want to say just what I bought, but let's just say that if it could grow up it would expect to be an Insight hellicarrier. But don't worry, because the targeting system only goes after really bad musicians. I asked Tony what his definition of "really bad" was in this context.

"If Obadiah Stane liked the music, it needs to go. At this point, the only bands I'm 100% sure are safe are Black Sabbath, AC/DC, and probably U2."

"What about the Rolling Stones?"

"Have you heard them lately? Lame-o. I think they're probably a big influence on Miley Cyrus."

Gotcha. Nuff said.

OK, SHIELD. Try and track this!