Old Age and Treachery, Lesson 1

A friend (let's call him Jack) who is hardly a senior citizen was given a senior citizen "free drink" at a fast food chain today. He then observed:

"Just try and get a refill. The machine is behind the counter and all of these young whippersnappers are ahead of me..."

My response? ``If you have chosen to grow up (you fool!) you must learn the wisdom of the ages: "Old age and treachery beats youth and skill every time."''

This (true) example above is an easy introduction into this way of thinking. Let's first take the case where the soda machine is not behind the counter, simply because the reaction is more fun.

Jack: "Look out! There's a brown recluse on that handle!"
(stampede away from the machine)
Jack: "You have to drown them in Diet Dr. Pepper. I'll just refill my cup and..." (refill) "...flick her in..." (flick imaginary spider into cup). "Now, you wait three seconds, and she's dead and neutralized, and you don't even have to waste the drink!" (slurp)
(Youngster's eyes get really wide. At least one goes, "Gross!")

But in Jack's case, where the soda machine is behind the counter, the basic strategy still works.

Jack: "Look out! There's a brown recluse on that handle!"
(crowd moves nervously back from the counter)
Jack: "Sorry,. my mistake. That's just a speck on the handle. But since I'm here, more Diet Dr. Pepper, please!"