I got to wondering... If a guy's wife died, would he want to keep her around as a different sort of jewel than before? Then it hit me. What if he remarried? He could save money on an engagement ring and keep both wives! If he had the old one set into a new ring, that would be the old and new thing his new bride wore for the ceremony. "Yes, honey, that diamond is like a part of the family."
Of course, if she ever found out, he might end up with his former wife embedded in his forehead. This would give new meaning to the phrase, "always on my mind".
Or a Mom could give her former hubbie to her daughter at the point boys started noticing her. "Just remember, baby, your Daddy is always right there with you."
I am assuming, of course, that the raw material for each diamond is legally cremated. But if this technology fell into the wrong hands we could start seeing illegal diamond labs. Criminals, unhappy spouses, politicians, and parents who don't get their teenagers would love this. Pawn shops would be full of people who simply disappeared. You can't get DNA from a diamond.
Therefore I propose that the government turn this whole thing over to the same National Security Agency team responsible for disappearing the 100MPH carburetor. Soon the idea of turning Aunt Suzy into a diamond would be seen as just another conspiracy theory.
Aunt Suzy will sleep a lot better.
1 comment:
This cracked me up.
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