(cue spooky theremin music)
``There is nothing wrong with your browser. Do not attempt to adjust the updates. We are in control. If we wish to make you see everything, we will feed you our database. If we wish to make it sparser, we will show next to nothing. We control the width. We control the automatic scrolling. We can roll the ads, make them flutter. We can change your focus to a soft blur or sharpen it to crystal clarity. For the next few hours, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: there is nothing wrong with your internet. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and aggravation which reaches from your subconscious to... The Facebook Limits.''
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