Sometimes a banana (pepper)...

Sometimes a banana (pepper) is just a banana (pepper).

The other day I wandered into the break room at lunch time. Rosa had just put out the meat for sandwiches, with what looked like tiny, orange bell peppers a little larger than cherry tomatoes in the midst of the meat slices.

"What's this?" I asked, picking one up.

"Banana pepper," said Rosa, as I popped it into my mouth, knowing full well it wasn't a banana pepper but having no idea what it was.

"Mmmm..." I said as I started down the hall, chewing. About the time I swallowed a tiny bit of it, my mouth caught on fire. I quit chewing, but the pain grew. I could feel each seed, each bit of pepper flesh, every molecule of it, burning away my tongue and skin as if I'd bitten into a high concentration of sulfuric acid. I could almost feel my teeth melting.

I spat the pepper into the trash, and groped desperately through my food stash. Chocolate or bread! Both! I ate a brownie; it had no effect at all. Running back to the break room, I some how managed not to knock anyone aside. My mouth felt blistered, and the heat was growing. Soon I would be breathing fire, annihilating my friends and co-workers!

I'd only swallowed maybe 2% of it, but my stomach was cramping like crazy.

I tore into some cheese, trying to plaster it all over my mouth. I started rapid fire hiccuping, and got the shakes. Hot stuff never does that to me. Until yesterday.

Finally I went to the fridge, and poured some half and half into a mug. As I held gulps of that in my mouth, the blaze began to diminish. A half coffee mug of half and half, over about 5 minutes, finally got it down to where it was merely annoying rather than devastating. The hiccups were gone, but the shakes continued for a few minutes.

I accused Rosa of trying to kill me. "I told you it was a habañero pepper!"

"Habañero? You said banana!"

"No, habañero."

Whether she said it wrong, or I heard it wrong, was irrelevant. I'd just tried to eat a whole habañero, one of the three hottest, naturally occurring foods on the planet.

Sometimes a banana (pepper) is just a banana (pepper).

But sometimes it's not.



Copyright 2007, Miles O'Neal, Round Rock, TX. All rights reserved.