Is it Hot in Here, or is it Just You?

People disagree over what "hot" means. This is true regardless of context. I would like to offer my definition of "hot" as it pertains to spicy foods. There are four criteria:

1. If it makes your forehead sweat and / or your eyes water, and
   
2. if it clears your sinuses / makes your nose run, and
   
3. if it burns going in, and
   
4. if it burns coming out,
   

then, and only then, it's hot.