McKenna and I were discussing whether there is such a thing as an accidental kiss. She opined that it didn't have to be mouth to mouth. That seemed to me like cheating but I wandered in the forest of my thoughts a bit and this story jumped out from behind a tree to surprise me as thoroughly as what happens below.
Jeremy was late for class. "Mrs. Gillie is going to kill me," he thought. "Or worse yet flunk me. I'll lose my scholarship!" Without the scholarship he'd have to drop out of college, blowing his parents' dream of finally have a Macintyre with a degree after his name.
Running across the quad he veered around the big oak to avoid a couple kissing. "Why do people insist on making out in public?" he raged inwardly. Ducking to avoid a low limb big enough to give him a serious concussion, he noticed another couple engaged in passionate kisses at his feet... as he tripped over them.
Jeremy flew and stumbled for several yards. He was almost under control when he slipped on a mossy rock and fell right on top of Miri from his biology class, the shyest girl he'd ever known. She was smart, witty, and cute. He'd fallen for her right away but getting her to talk one on one was nearly impossible. He'd given up after a week.
But just as he'd once fallen for her, now he was falling on her. Time slowed. She looked up, half surprised, half amused, not yet showing alarm. Her arms came up as his went out. He fell into her arms which then fell onto him as if in a lover's embrace. The irony was not lost on Jeremy. He managed to break his fall with his own arms so that his head stopped gently just as it met hers.
He tried to pull back. She tried to push him away. What was happening? Why were they still eyeball to eyeball, nose to nose, and... lip to lip?
"Mmh mhh mhhhmhh!" he apologized.
"Mmh mhh mh!" she demanded.
"Mmh mmh't," he argued.
Braces. Their braces were locked.
"MMMh mhh mhh!"
"Mhh mmmhhh mhh?"
"Mhh."
"Mhh..."
"Mmmm hmmm..."
"Mmmmmm."
"Mmmmmm."
After an hour their braces accidentally unlocked. Each of them later told friends it was one of the saddest moments of their lives.
Mrs. Gillie was out sick so class had been canceled.
Jeremy aced biology.
The young lovers graduated with honors on a Friday morning and got married that afternoon on the quad.
They eventually lost their braces (a month apart to the hour) but every year on the anniversary of that fateful day when Jeremy was late for class they re-enacted that first kiss. They did this right up until they were 65. That year they added an accidental chipped tooth, an accidental split lip, and an accidental bloody nose to the re-enacted accidental kiss. Laughing and holding handkerchiefs to their faces, they wandered over to the student infirmary as much to befuddle the nurses and doctor as anything else.
From that year on they celebrated by painting braces on their teeth and laying gently down under the giant oak to kiss for an hour. Rain or shine.
Jeremy died a week before their 60th accidental kissiversary.
A week later at the appropriate time Miri wandered dreamily across the quad. As she ducked under the huge branch, she realized there was a couple kissing at her feet.
She skirted them successfully but slipped on the same rock Jeremy had slipped on sixty years previously. As she stretched out her arms she realized with some bemusement she was falling toward a very good looking young man. He caught her. Their faces a few inches apart, she gazed into his eyes a second and smiled.
He laughed. "Do you realize how lucky you are? I caught you just in time!"
She laughed as well. "You have no idea how lucky you are! Oh, wait. I suppose your braces are real. Mine aren't."
His left eyebrow raised as he helped her to her feet. "I don't follow you."
"It's just as well. Thank you for catching me, young man. What's you name?"
"Jeremy."
He stood scratching his head as the old lady ran off laughing like a schoolgirl- right after she kissed him smack on the lips.
His cell phone chimed. Time for biology. If only he could get that shy Chinese girl to talk to him...
Copyright 2015 Triple R Publishing, Round Rock, TX. All rights reserved.
