Zombie Ball

I lost interest in sports years ago, especially pro sports. I still enjoy a game if I know someone playing; this generally restricts me to high school and younger teams.

When our kids decided they wanted to play, I got interested in their sports. I went to all their home games and whatever away games I could make. The first year both Esther and Josiah played basketball I decided to give pro ball a chance again as well. I didn't even recognize what I saw. The uniforms were huge and baggy and silly looking, but the biggest problem was the play.

Or lack thereof. Both teams plodded back and forth, individuals taking turns showing off like a bunch of junior high kids who'd all just moved to the neighborhood, wanting attention but not really caring that much about the game or teamwork.

I couldn't tell you what was going on in their heads, but I can tell you what it looked like from my vantage point.

"I have arrived! I am the star. I don't have to break a sweat unless I want to. I'm the coolest dude around, and cool dudes don't have to sweat. All these cats out there paid to see me so I'll mosey around. occasionally make a break, and then show off my trick shot. I don't make as many as I used to, but so what? I'm cool and stuff."

And then, perhaps because he was busy imagining he was admiring himself in a mirror or on a giant screen TV (since the league allowed neither on the court), he'd accidentally commit a foul-- perhaps tripping, kneeing, pantsing, or scuffing an opponent's hair. The latter usually resulted in a full brawl between the teams, although nobody ever got hurt and the coaches' starched shirts and ties never even looked ruffled.

College ball, on the other hand, was very good. Collegiate players showed a passion the high school teams understood but the pros had forgotten. They were, of course, much better than the high school teams. I'm not sure that was the case with most of the pros. I once sat bemused in Mr Gatti's, watching two teams of million dollar babies mope up and down the court for foul shots at least a dozen times in a row without more than a couple of seconds of play between each set of fouls. I really think Josiah's team could have beat either of them. Esther's team, despite a severe height disadvantage, could have beat them.

I haven't watched much in the way of basketball since our kids finished at Hilltop, but the few moments of pro ball I've noticed lately suggests that either someone lit a fire under those guys or those college players graduated and took over the pros. Either way, the recent games looked like pro ball again.

But everything I see on social media about this year's college brackets suggests the college teams have caught whatever disease the pros had a decade ago. I hope someone comes up with a vaccine soon, and offers it to the high schoolers before they catch it. Zombies and basketball just don't mix.