Occupy Ourself!

My employer is building a new, six story headquarters because we are growing like crazy. As it turns out, we are growing even crazier than planned so the new building will be full by the time we occupy it. We've asked whether the building could be taller and were told no. So imagine my surprise today when I was given the proposed building usage by floor, including "floor 8: boardroom and labs".

My first guess was that we had talked the city into more floors, and the seventh was a super secret, unplottable floor, perhaps patterned after Number 12, Grimmauld Place, which would be pretty cool. Xilu suggested that perhaps there will be no seventh, and the eighth floor will hover. I like that idea even more because it would mean our anti-gravity research has paid off and our stock price will go through the roof-- assuming we know where the roof is, because that depends on the number of floors. My boss ominously hinted that I wasn't on the "need to know" list, which inclined me toward Xilu's idea.

But one of our copious Davids explained that seven and eight were actually part of the parking garage connected to the building.

Now there's a concept! Have the board meet in the parking garage! That will attract only the best people to our board. In case it's not obvious why, here's a short list of the pros and cons.

Pros:
- If board meetings go late, they can hear whatever band is playing on the roof at Momo's. We are, after all, in the Live Music Capital of the World.
- An excellent view of the sunset.

Cons:
- Exhaust fumes
- Skateboarders
- Austin weather varies from 15 on severe winter days to 115 on severe summer days.

Pros:
- Free sauna on severe summer days

Clearly the pros outweigh the cons, unless the board members all die from extreme temperatures and exhaust inhalation. In that case I'm sure we could get some of the skateboarders to fill in if we promise them the free food and drinks the board would otherwise consume, and access to the exclusive upper floor via elevator. After all, skaters gotta skate.