Captain America 2: The Winter Clock Soldier
As Ahmed Mohammed's Oval Office meeting ends, President Obama leans in close and whispers in Ahmed's ear. "Hail Hydra."Ahmed, a look of alarm on his face, leaps back. "I knew it! That's why I brought a REAL clock bomb today, to save America!"
The President freezes. "I was just kidding!"
Ahmed grins. "So was I. It's just a clock."
As the two share laughs and high fives, the Secret Service goes to change its pants.
He's a Mess
Michael wanders into the company library and stares morosely out the window.Alli, the librarian, watches him a bit before asking, "Are you OK?"
He sighs. "Sometimes I just need to stare into the distance. Remember my other wives. The ones I never told anyone about. The one who committed suicide. And now the authorities know. They're coming, you know. You might want to leave; it's going to get ugly."
Alli hardly knows how to respond. "What? Are you serious?"
"But most days I just like messing with people's heads." He turns around and smirks.
A second later a Merriam-Webster Unabridged Dictionary smacks him in the face. She replies, "And this is how I mess with people's heads who mess with mine too much."
When Brands Collide
"I'd like to open an account.""How much would you like to deposit?"
"2,000 gallons."
"Gallons?"
"This is the IBC Bank, right? I have lots of root beer."
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